They say crime doesn't pay. In this case, it appears to have bought a yacht.

I received a press release last week from the DOJ about the latest news in Medicare fraud involving, what else, braces!

Juan Camilo Perez Buitrago and two of his employees submitted more than $109 million in false claims for arm, back, knee and shoulder braces. (nothing to see here).

But it’s the details that really made me say, WTF? You see, as part of his scheme, Buitrago had the employees, Jessica Jones and Elizabeth Putulin, list his wife, mother and yacht captain as directors for shell companies he created to do the false billing.

His yacht captain. The man doesn’t just have a yacht, the yacht has a captain. I don’t have a yacht. Do you have a yacht? Apparently, the majority of HME providers on Twitter last week chatting about this latest governmental gatekeeping failure also do not have yachts.

The other detail that made me laugh was this one:

“Jones and Putulin further facilitated the fraud by answering frequent phone calls from Medicare patients who received DME that they did not request, want or need. Jones and Putulin also responded to insurance companies’ requests for prescriber’s orders and medical records, which they were unable to provide.”

So, they were taking calls from patients and responding to insurers in trying to cover up the scheme. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just, you know, providing actual, wanted equipment and billing for it legally and appropriately. To not be a fraud?

Of course, as an inherently honest person, I cannot conceive of how anyone perpetuates such a convoluted ruse. Fortunately, I don’t need to make payments on a yacht.

At any rate, I suspect I’m not the only one to think just punishment for these three, and others of their ilk, would be to set sail on the S.S. Minnow. Good riddance!